"...And If You Can't Afford A Bounce House, A Voting Booth Gives You The Same Laughs For Free..."

It should come as no surprise that a toy has stirred up a political brouhaha.

After all, hasn't the whole tone of national politics been more than just a little childish in recent months?

Top Romney adviser, Eric Fehrnstrom, said earlier this week that the campaign will "hit a reset button" to take on Obama in the fall if Romney wins the GOP nomination. He added, "It's almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up, and we start all over again."

They said the adviser's remarks bring into question whether Romney will drop his conservative stances, some of which are different from others he'd taken earlier in his career, in favor of more moderate positions ahead of the general election.

On Wednesday, Santorum's campaign posted a photo on Twitter of the candidate using an Etch A Sketch, saying it showed him "studying up on (Romney's) policy positions."

Romney, who scored the prized endorsement of former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush on Wednesday, explained the Etch A Sketch remark by saying, "Organizationally, a general election campaign takes on a different profile."

"The issues I am running on will be exactly the same," he said. "I am running as a conservative Republican. I was a conservative Republican governor. I will be running as a conservative Republican nominee, at that point hopefully, for president. The policies and positions are the same."


Only time will tell whether there will be a whole lotta shakin goin' on when Romney becomes the nominee.

It occurs to those of us at The Center Line, though, that this whole injection of toy talk is exactly the breath of fresh air that this pretty lame campaign has been needing for a while.

Because people's love for politics cuts a wide path across a wide range, everything from who cares to can't live without it and everything in between.

But who among us doesn't love toys?

And what a wonderful variety of toys would fit right in to the current poltical climate?

Seriously, Eric Fehrnstrom is probably in hot water with the boss for the whole Etch A Sketch remark, but we civilians can all comfortably exchange knowing glances and winks that the changing of the picture as desired or needed is as much a part of the American political process as bumper stickers and those robo calls that make you want to punch any or all of the founding fathers.

So, the Etch A Sketch is a natural.

Not to mention...

Slinky...simple, basic, essentially mindless fun...much like any speech given by any candidate at any given time....

Lincoln Logs...an American tradition, appealing to our sense of patriotism, allowing the candidate to build something that, initially, impresses us but, ultimately is time and effort wasted on something that has no practical use...much like any policy platform offered by any candidate at any given time...

The hula hoop...providing not only the opportunity, but the rationalization, for moving to the left and moving to the right in order to make the thing work....much like any political philosophy offered by any candidate at any given time...

Twister...this one is a no brainer....picture any political campaign of two or more candidates and this is an almost automatic and obvious visual...not to mention the cool red state/blue state subtext...

Transformers...another obvious choice, affording the candidates the opportunity to create something to ostensibly dazzle us...but change its entire form in a flash, just in case we find the original offering objectionable in any way...

and last but, certainly, not least...the magic 8 ball..the "political edition" of this classic though would employ the use of only five of the original's twenty answer options....covering the candidate for pretty much any specific question we had in mind to ask...

● Reply hazy, try again
● Ask again later
● Better not tell you now
● Cannot predict now
● Concentrate and ask again

One more toy, by the way, that just missed the cut here.

The Easy Bake Oven.

Given that in any given election year, we get fed quite enough as it is.

"..The Obvious Joke Here Is 'You Talkin' To Me?...', But We're Really Better Than That Around Here...."

Newt Gingrich is a pretty educated guy.

He has several degrees, among them a B.A., a Master's and a PhD, all in one kind of history or another and he was, at one time, on the track to becoming a professor until politics came a callin' in the early 1970's.

So, whatever level of game he might, or might not, have, its pretty clear that he's a pretty smart fellow.

Obviously, though, his expertise is in history and not in grammar.

WASHINGTON (AP) — Robert De Niro says he meant no offense when he joked at a presidential fundraiser featuring Michelle Obama that America might not be ready for a white first lady.

"My remarks, although spoken with satirical jest, were not meant to offend or embarrass anyone — especially the first lady," De Niro said in a statement.

The tough-talking star of "Taxi Driver," ''Raging Bull," ''Casino," and "Meet the Parents" was host of the re-election fundraiser Monday night in New York. He opened by listing the wives of Republicans running for president.

"Callista Gingrich. Karen Santorum. Ann Romney," De Niro said. "Now do you really think our country is ready for a white first lady?"

The crowd of big-dollar donors waiting to hear from the nation's first black first lady roared in approval, and De Niro finished: "Too soon, right?"

The joke drew criticism Tuesday from Newt Gingrich, who said the racial reference to the Republican candidates' wives was "inexcusable" and demanded an apology from President Barack Obama.

The White House referred questions to Obama's re-election campaign. Mrs. Obama's campaign spokeswoman Olivia Alair called the joke "inappropriate" but declined further comment.

Prejuidice, especially in the form of racism is, to any reasonably intelligent person, obviously anathema.

There is a reasonable case to be made, though, that Newt's criticism is both off center and proof positive that expertise in history does not a grammatical expert make.

rid·i·cule/ˈridiˌkyo͞ol/
Noun: The subjection of someone or something to mockery and derision.

No one who was present at the function where DeNiro spoke, including Michele Obama, seems to think for a single second that any mockery or derision was involved here.

And Newt's criticism of the joke is an obvious sign that the once upon a time professor doesn't understand a subtle, but key, difference involved.

It's one thing to laugh with ourselves, and each other, about our respective differences.

It's another thing entirely to ridicule each other about those differences.

And, come on, guys, do we think for a single minute that the erudite, triple college degreed Mr. Gingrich doesn't understand that?

Then again, perhaps his command of grammatical context and language definition is more expert that we think.

op·por·tun·ist/ˌäpərˈt(y)o͞onist/
Noun: A person who exploits circumstances to gain immediate advantage rather than being guided by principles or plans.

There's some plain English we can all understand.

"...Off We Go....Into The Red State Yonder...."

We do love our mysteries.

WASHINGTON -- Citing new analysis of a photo that could show wreckage of Amelia Earhart's plane, the Obama administration on Tuesday said it was joining a search this summer to hopefully solve the mystery of America's greatest female aviator.

"We can be as optimistic and even audacious as Amelia Earhart," Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton said at a ceremony in Washington, D.C., to announce U.S. support for the expedition. "There is great honor and possibility in the search itself."

The search by The International Group for Historic Aircraft Recovery will focus on the remote island of Nikumaroro, in what is now the Pacific nation of Kiribati.

The group believes Earhart and her navigator Fred Noonan might have managed to land on the island, then known as Gardner Island, and that they could have survived for a short time after disappearing on July 2, 1937.

Other historians believe they crashed into the ocean. But conspiracy theories, including claims that they were U.S. government agents captured by the Japanese before World War II, abound despite having been largely debunked.

New analysis of a photo taken at Nikumaroro three months after the disappearance shows what some people believe could be a strut and wheel of the plane protruding from the water, the group says. The photo was not immediately released to the media on Tuesday but the hypothesis is that the plane crashed on a reef before eventually being washed deeper into the sea.

The group hopes that probes down the reef slope will reveal larger aircraft parts such as the engines lying in a dim "twilight zone" about 300 yards below the oceansurface.

Renowned oceanographer Robert Ballard, who discovered the wreckage of the Titanic and the Bismarck and is advising the Earhart expedition, said the new analysis of the photograph could be the equivalent of a "smoking gun" as it narrows the search area from tens of thousands of square miles to a manageable size.

In 2010, bone fragments were found on the island that the group believes might be of Earhart or Noonan. Other artifacts have been recovered there as well that suggest the two might have lived for days or weeks after landing on a reef.

The privately funded group is putting up $500,000 for the search. The U.S. won't provide money but will offer limited logistical support. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood joined Clinton at the ceremony.

Ric Gillespie, the executive director of the group, said the new search is scheduled to last for 10 days in July and will use state-of-the-art underwater robotic submarines and mapping equipment. The Discovery Channel will film the expedition for a television documentary, he said. He acknowledged that the evidence was circumstantial but "strong" but stopped well short of predicting success.

"The most important thing is not whether we find the ultimate answer or what we find, it is the way we look," he said. "We see this opportunity to explore ... the last great American mystery of the 20th century as a vehicle for demonstrating how to go about figuring out what is true."

"Back in 1937, in the painful recovery from the Great Depression, Amelia Earhart's courage and determination inspired the American people," he added. "Well, hard times are here again and we need that type of courage and determination again...we're going to try our best to find her, not for ourselves, but for you," the public.

The expedition will coincide with the 75th anniversary of Earhart's departure on the ill-fated attempt to become the first woman to fly around the world.

The headline in this story is, obviously, the possibilty that the mystery of Amelia Earhart will finally be solved.

Given the tone and texture of the political landscape lo these past few years and especially these past few months, I can't help but wonder if it's only a matter of minutes before the Republicans go flying, engines roaring, into full critic mode and strafe the Obama administration for using taxpayer dollars to assist in the search.

Better things to do with the money, etc, etc.

Given the nature of this chapter in American history and the surrounding mystery, it would be a shame if partisan politics reared its ugly head here.

Around here, we have three hopes.

First, that the mystery will, at last, be solved.

Second, that the anti-Obama camp takes the high road and keeps politics out of it.

Should their flight plan include lambasting and below the belt flying, though, a third hope remains at the ready.

That if they do discover substantial wreckage verifying that solves the mystery of Amelia Earhart, that the first substantial wreckage they find is the right wing.

That would pretty much shut them up, don't you think?

"...Leonardo DiCaprio For V.P., I'm Thinkin'..."

Here's a take on what it will take for Romney to seal the deal.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/19/politics/crowley-romney-illinois/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Now here's a take on the take on what it will take for Romney to seal the deal.

Given that pretty much every poll taken on the planet indicates that, barring some unforeseen drama or disaster, Obama will defeat Romney and win re-election, it seems not unreasonable to suggest that all the strife and struggling going on within the Republican party is pretty much like going toe toe to with someone to get dibs on the best deck chair on the Titanic.

Which, if you're a Republican watching the whole process with a disheartened sense of dismay, probably accounts for that sinking feeling your're experiencing.

Convention, and/or iceberg, dead ahead.

"...Talk Is Cheap...AND It Comes In A Pretty Cool Variety Pack..."

Rick Santorum has the right idea.

He just doesn't speak the language.

While campaigning Wednesday ahead of the island's primary on Sunday, Santorum told a newspaper that for Puerto Rico to become "a state of the United States, English must be the principal language."

There is currently no law declaring an official language of the United States, though several attempts have been made to give English that designation. Thirty-one states have passed laws mandating English as their official language. The Constitution also makes no mention of a language test for territories or properties that wish to become states.

Putting aside any inevitable, knee jerk references to poor, huddled masses yearning to be free, let's direct our attention to a finer point of Santorum's assertion.

Just what kind, exactly, of English is he talking about?

Is he talking about west coast English, which comes in a veritable syllabic smorgasboard from "oh, yeah, there's been a lot of rain in Seattle this year" to "whoa, dude, you must be from out of town cause it's like totally pronounced "LaCienega" not Laseenegga"

Or is he talking about talking mid American English, which runs the grammatical gamut from "oh, yah, we've had a lot of rain here in the Twin Cities this year" to "well, here in Missouri, we correct that squeak by securing the floor boards to the joist there". ?

Or, perhaps, Santorum would have us all dialoguing Dixie-esquely. "Well, now, don't know how ya'll feel about it, but down here in Alabama, we voted for that Santorum fella, cause we agree that them Puerto Ricans need to be talkin English good before we let em in...you know...if we gotta let em in at all, ya know."

And, of course, let's not rule out the possiblity that Santorum thinks the most American of English is spoken with no greater eloquence than that most American of melting pots, New York City. "Hey, whatta you lookin' at?"

Giving the red, white and blue benefit of the doubt to the guy, let's all agree that Rick Santorum's heart is the right place in his belief that America should stay as American as Americans can keep it.

But if he is sincere in his belief that English should be the primary language spoken in Puerto Rico before statehood is granted, then it seems only fair that Puerto Rico be instructed as to just exactly what English that might be.

And how is that to be determined?

Perhaps our fellow citizens from the Empire State could offer an assist.

"I don't know, ya mook, whattya got?"

"...The Chances of Watching This With A P-P-P-Poker Face Are P-P-P-Pretty Much Nada...."

Meanwhile, from the folder marked campaign hijinks.



Two thoughts come to mind.

The artist who put this together has a staggering amount of free time.

The President can pretty much count on the Gaga demographic this time around.

We now return you to the slogging, mundane ritual that is election year 2012.

"...Dear Lord, What's Next?.....Tony The Tiger?......"

Old saying.

Thin line between love and hate.

Another old saying.

Thin line between comedy and politics.

To wit...

Donald Trump, Jr. and Eric Trump have drawn the ire of PETA after photos surfaced showing the brothers on a wild game hunting trip in Zimbabwe last year.

TMZ first posted photos from the trip under the headline, "Donald Trump's Sons Ignite War Over Animal Butchery." During the hunting trip, the Trump sons reportedly killed a number of exotic animals, including an elephant, crocodile, kudu, civet cat and waterbuck.

The photos were criticized by the animal rights organization PETA, who said in a statement to Hollywood Life:

"Like all animals, elephants, buffalo, and crocodiles deserve better than to be killed and hacked apart for two young millionaires' grisly photo opportunity. If the young Trumps are looking for a thrill, perhaps they should consider skydiving, bungee jumping, or even following in their anti-hunting father's footsteps and taking down competing businesses—not wild animals. If the Trumps want to help villagers, they have plenty of resources at their disposal."

Trump was quick to defend his sons, telling TMZ, "My sons love hunting. They're hunters and they've become good at it. I know that anything they did was 100% OK in terms of the hunting community." However, Trump was equally quick to note that he himself does not share in the sport, saying, "I am not a believer in hunting and I'm surprised they like it."

In one of the more controversial photos, Donald Jr. is seen grinning broadly while holding the severed tail of an elephant in his hands. He defended his actions on his Twitter account, saying that he was simply taking part in a local custom.

Trump Jr. has been actively defending his actions to his 120,000 followers, along with getting into a few spats with readers. In one update, Trump Jr. writes, "I don't apologize to cater to public opinion when I did nothing wrong. To do so would be to sell myself out."


It goes without saying that PETA's sole reason for existing is to get bunged about pretty much anything and everything that people do to animals that doesn't include lavish bedding, monogrammed clothing and/or gourmet pet food.

So, like the dog that craps in the slipper, PETA is just doing what comes naturally.

And while there's nothing funny about cruelty, be it inflicted on beast or man, there is a comedy lurking just beneath the skin of this story.

Cause you gotta wonder if this tempest in a petpot would be bubbling up to a boiling point if The Donald II was proudly holding up, for all to see, instead of the severed tail of an elephant....

...the severed tail of a donkey.

The headline we got was "Donald Trump's Sons Ignite War Over Animal Butchery."

The headline more fitting is "Trump Tykes Murder GOP Mascot".

Now, that's breaking news, kids.

Not to mention funny.