"...Coming This Week....Video Of Michelle Bachmann Saving Some Kids From A Burning Building..."

Politics, the classic bromide reminds us, makes strange bedfellows.

Ain't it the truth.

And no stranger a pairing have these moderately wizened eyes, with brows inevitably arched, witnessed, of late, than this one.

The writer, Dorothy Parker

My granddaughter, Ella Marie.

Edification to ensue momentarily.

But, first, an update on the latest adventures of the gang unable to shoot straight.

DES MOINES, Iowa — A gathering of religious conservatives in Iowa tonight turned into one of the most emotional moments of the 2012 primary season when two presidential candidates — Herman Cain and Rick Santorum — both fought back tears while telling personal stories about the most challenging moments in their lives.

Cain, whose wife, Gloria, was in the audience, spoke about being diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer in 2006, stopping several times during his re-telling of the story to compose himself.

“I can do this,” Cain said he told his wife moments after getting the cancer diagnosis from his doctor. “She said — ‘we.’”

Fellow candidate Rick Perry, who was seated next to Cain at the forum, which is sponsored by the Christian conservative organization The Family Leader, reached over and touched Cain on the shoulder, consoling him.

Santorum spoke about his three-year-old daughter Bella’s diagnosis with Trisomy 18, a disorder that kills roughly 90 percent of children before or during birth. He shared his struggle dealing with the illness, acknowledging that he thought if he did not love her, it wouldn’t hurt him if she died.

Bella is still alive, but Santorum spoke of a particularly trying time when he thought he was about to lose her: “I prayed that moment, please, please let her live,” Santorum said. “I’ll do everything to commit to her and not just her, but to every child like her.”

Michele Bachmann and Perry both reached out to comfort the former Pennsylvania senator.

Six candidates, including Cain, Perry, Ron Paul, Bachmann, Santorum and Newt Gingrich, used the venue to speak more expansively than ever before about their personal faith journey.

“In every person’s heart, in every person’s soul, there is a hole that can only be filled by the Lord Jesus Christ,” Perry told the audience.

Bachmann also told a touching story about her parents’ divorce, recalling her mother’s words: “It’s hard now, but, it’s going to be OK.” She spoke of her family’s financial woes after her parents’ split up, saying “my mom put all our pretty dishes” on “card tables” to sell them at a yard sale.

Gingrich also shed a tear while speaking about a disabled child he knows. The former House Speaker also opened up about a time in his life when he felt “truly hollow.”

But emotion also gave way to politics. The candidates took the opportunity to attack “Obamacare,” Washington elites, the liberal establishment and Occupy Wall Street protesters. And, all tried to fit in their own campaign talking points. Perry touted the 10th Amendment, Paul defended the importance of the Constitution and Bachmann promised to bring back $2 a gallon gasoline.

The candidates were seated around a large wooden table adorned with pumpkins at the event, billed as the Thanksgiving Family Forum. The two-hour long session, which did not include Mitt Romney who was campaigning in Iowa tonight, was moderated by Republican pollster Frank Luntz.

Before the candidates took the stage, prominent Iowa social conservative and political figure Bob Vander Plaats, who heads the Family Leader, predicted that “the next president of the United States will present to you tonight.”

The forum was held at the First Federated Church in Des Moines roughly a month and a half before Iowans will gather for the presidential caucuses on Jan. 3.

Wow.

Agape.

Defined as both a term for Christian love.

And wide eyed, mouth opened wonder.

Double word score.

Reality show producers who think they have a handle on what "the viewing public" wishes to be fed are clueless when they come up against the organizers of these dark comedies disguised as debates going on in the well lit, climate controlled, equipmentally state of the art but, unmistakably, Chautauqua tents the Republican Road Show is taking from town to town in their quest to determine what to feed "the American people".

Come ONE, come ALL!.....

To the greatest show on earth!

Something for the whole family!

Rock'em, sock'em...

Upsy, downsy...

Back and forthsy...

And now.....

Touchy, feely....

Were this, in fact, an actual stage production touring the country and were I a reviewer charged with the task of giving said production an objective and insightful review, I have to confess said review would be short, sweet and succinct.

And would read something like this.

"Are you fucking kidding me?

A group of candidates gathered together to, ostensibly, argue their positions on the critical societal issues of our time in hopes of being chosen to lead a nation through some of that nation's most challenging times and we're getting three minute long Lifetime movies about disease diagnosis, promises to terminally ill babies, having to sell "pretty dishes" at yard sales and, wait for it....

...Newt actually knows a disabled child.

Katy, bar the door.

Couple of random thoughts.

If the intention (and this is a totally futile effort on my part to, for the love of God help me, find some way to see this as a half full glass)was to humanize the people wearing the office seekers masks, then, and again, God help me here, I suppose it's fair to say mission accomplished.

But, it simultaneously cheapens and denigrates the political process that we deserve.

We'll be right back to Newt hates Herman hates Rick hates Mitt patronizes Michelle ignores Rick humors Ron, but first...

Group hug.

And now, back to the battle.

Were it simply funny, it would genuinely be funny.

But try to picture this.

1858.

Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas debate.

Mr. Lincoln, during a passionate and determined declaration of his point of view is speaking....

".... Let us discard all these things, and unite as one people throughout this land, until we shall once more stand up declaring that all men are created equal....all men...and (slight choke up)...I'm sorry, I was going to say women, as well and that brought me to mind of my sainted mother, Nancy, who passed away nigh on forty years ago...she was taken by the milk sickness that ran rampant through the Little Pigeon Creek settlement, a sickness that took not only Mama but her aunt Elizabeth and (more choked up) uncle Thomas, two sainted souls who raised my mama as if (serious choking up)...as if she were their very own...their very....(unable to continue..."

Mr. Douglas puts down his notes, removes his eyeglasses to wipe a tear from one eye and reaches over, putting a slightly trembling hand on Lincoln's shoulder.

They exchange knowing glances....as tears roll down wrinkled cheeks and the crowd, turns to each other, holding hands, reaching out, coming together in concern and compassion.

Group hug.

Somewhere, in that moment, in that crowd, is a reporter for one of Illinois' young and growing news weeklies.

And he is thinking what I am thinking now.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

This latest episode of the "Right Wing Roadshow" offers nothing if  not overwhelming evidence that these people have decided to do their level best to be all things to all people.

The problem with that concept, as history has taught us, is that it can't be done.

To add intelligence insult to injury, we have another candidate type to add to the list.

The environment candidate.

The peace candidate.

The corporate candidate.

The working man's candidate.

The economy candidate.

And new but, certainly, not least...

The Oprah candidate.

Seriously, kids, Tina Turner may, or may not, have been right when she said "we don't need another hero", but I'd bet my Twix bar against your Twix bar that we absolutely don't need another reason to be cynical about the process of electing a president.

And turning the process into a Hallmark Channel mini series ratchets up the cynical factor by a ten fold or two.

Not to mention making strange bedfellows out of writer and granddaughter.

And two noted uses, respectively, of the English language.

Dorothy Parker..."it ran the gamut of emotions, from A...to B...".

Ella Marie..." OMG...".

Group hug.

"...Making Life Better...And Shit Up....One Word At A Time..."

Politics in this age is a lot like Cracker Jack.

Inside the box filled with the expected junk food, there is, traditionally, a surprise to be found.

Although given that we all know there is a surprise inside renders the surprise factor academic, but that's a hair split for another time.

One surprise I think we've all enjoyed in the process politic, of late, is the discovery of new vocabulary.

Sarah Palin, for one, offered us up "refudiate" a while back.

And Herman Cain has made "9-9-9" almost as iconic as "6-6-6" (and just as insidious, depending on who you ask).

Always willing to add two cents to any given pile of loose change, I'd like to pony up a new assembly of letters myself.

Contextan.

Defined as a word or phrase intended solely to make political points with and/or instill fear in the hearts, minds and voting preferences of that most cherished of target demos, "the American people", lifted from somewhere out of another word or phrase spoken at any other time, regardless of back story, background or...wait for it...context.

And the inspiration for the coining of this new word being none other than the Lone Star State's favorite linguist, Rick Perry.

Or, to pare it down for the masses, a word or phrase quoted out of context as in the style of the current Governor of Texas...

...a contextan.

The latest contextan being injected into the bloodstream and/or bile duct of the body politic..."Obama says that Americans are lazy".

Mr. Perry has been doing a whole lotta rilin' up the restless with that little nugget.

And if you stretch the point to the point of snapping, it must be admitted that, yes, Barack Obama did use those words.

More or less.

Give or take.

But, hell, why let ourselves be bothered with background, back story or...wait for it...context when we can just let ourselves enjoy the Cliff Notes in ten second sound byte format that Perry and other language lancers offer up?

Actually, the whole concept has potential as a family game night game of sorts.

And, as John Lennon once told us, it's easy if you try.

Of course, that's out of context, but isn't that point?

Here's a couple of examples of how our game is played.

Actual Rick Perry quote-Scouting ought to be about building character, not about sex. Period. Precious few parents enroll their boys in the Scouts to get a crash course in sexual orientation.

The contextan- Precious few parents enroll their boys in the Scouts.

Perry quote- The Obama administration is an affront to every freedom-loving American,and a threat to every private sector job in this country.

The contextan- Obama is a freedom loving American to every private sector in this country.

Perry quote- This administration in Washington that's in power now clearly believes that government is not only the answer to every need, but it's the most qualified to make the most central decisions for every American in every area.

The contextan- This administration is the answer to every need for every American in every area.

Perry quote- When you have a clearly open homosexual scout leader, the scouts are going to talk about it. And they're not there to learn about that. They're there to learn about what it means to be loyal and trustworthy and thrifty.

The contextan- When you have a clearly open homosexual scout leader, they're there to be loyal and trustworthy and thrifty.

See?

Come on and play. Give it a try.

Pish tosh, you suggest?

Ridiculous? Insulting? Even offensive?

Why?

Because it's, at best, inappropriate and, at worst, absolutely unfair to quote bend, flex, adapt and adjust someone's remarks and, in essence, take them...wait for it...out of context?

Agreed.

So let's knock that shit off.

All of us.

And, in a gesture of good will, remember that the stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart of Texas.

Then again, I could do some serious damage with that big and bright business.

"...Maybe Some Solar Power Would Help..."

It's the economy, stupid.

That message, and James Carville and company's ability to keep Bill Clinton on it, got him elected president in 1992.

And no one who counts themselves among the acclaimed "99%" these days will offer that the coming election isn't entirely about that same issue.

Here's a thing, though.

It really is.

And it really isn't.

Courtesy cryptology provided momentarily.

Meanwhile, here's a little overview of last night's GOP debate (or was it the night before that....or the night before that?)...

Spartanburg, South Carolina (CNN) -- The Republican candidates for president tackled national security issues on Saturday in a 90-minute debate in South Carolina. Moderators steered the eight candidates toward terrorism, Iran, China, the war in Afghanistan, the Arab Spring and foreign aid.

National security has largely taken a backseat to the economy and domestic issues.

Humor was injected into the policy-focused debate thanks to Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who joked about the embarrassing mental lapse that came to define his campaign earlier this week in a debate in Michigan.

The gaffe came up when Perry was asked about the Energy Department by CBS News moderator Scott Pelley.

"Glad you remembered it," Perry quipped about the agency he wants to eliminate, even though it had awkwardly escaped his memory in Michigan.

"I have had some time to think about it sir," Pelley replied.

"Me too," Perry said, eliciting laughter from the crowd.

Perry answered several questions with confidence. He drove the discussion on foreign aid commitments when he said he would zero out all foreign aid and start again from scratch, including close ally Israel.

GOP candidates tackle foreign policy, national security in debate

Plus, he stole the show when he made a discussion about waterboarding personal, highlighting his military service and his commitment to protecting men and women in combat.

"For us not to have the ability to try to extract information from them to save our young people's live is a travesty," Perry said. "This is war, that's what happens in war, and I am for using techniques -- not torture -- but using those techniques that we know will extract information to save young American lives."

Zero, not nine

Sorry, Herman Cain: The operative number in Saturday's debate was not 9, 9 or 9. It was zero.

Perry said that's the amount of foreign aid every country in the world would receive at the outset of his administration. Each nation would then have to explain why they deserve American funds -- even Israel. Perry later clarified that Israel, a staunch ally, would continue to receive "substantial" money from Washington.

The proposal was a warning shot to Pakistan, which continues to receive billions of dollars in aid from the United States even though its intelligence services have been linked to terrorists.

Several of the candidates seemed to agree with Perry, even former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, who said aid to Pakistan should be zeroed out and re-evaluated. And so, not only did Perry escape Spartanburg without another embarrassing gaffe on his hands, he actually made news with a policy proposal.

Cain, the former pizza executive with scant foreign policy credentials, might have had the most to prove tonight in a debate about the rest of the world. Admittedly, the bar was exceedingly low.

After all, Cain has repeatedly waded into gaffe territory when asked for his foreign policy views and seems to revel in his lack of knowledge about the world. (See: "Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan").

Still, the pressure was on when he was asked the first question of the debate, one about Iran pursuing a nuclear weapon and what he would do about it.

But Cain clearly read his briefing book and hit the right points, even though he definitely appeared nervous wading into territory outside his catchy "9-9-9" comfort zone. But in the end, there were no major blunders for the man who seemed not to know a few weeks ago that China has nuclear weapons.

That's a win for Cain.

Cain has made attacking the media a central plank of his candidacy in the wake of a series of sexual harassment allegations.

Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann was handed an opportunity to take a similar path on Saturday when CBS Political Director John Dickerson accidentally copied a Bachmann aide on an email saying that the candidate was largely irrelevant and would not be asked many questions in the debate.

The Bachmann campaign called on Dickerson to be fired and accused the network of sidelining a candidate based on her diminished standing in the polls.

Bachmann's campaign manager stormed through the post-debate spin room and called Dickerson a "piece of sh-t" and a "fraud." Dickerson's response: "Bachmann is at 4% in the polls and has been for a while. Other candidates aren't. I sent an email based on that."

Bachmann wasn't the only one complaining: Jesse Benton, a senior adviser to Texas Rep. Ron Paul, called the debate a "disgrace" and said his boss was limited to just a few minutes of debate time.

Cain has impressively maintained a steady position atop of the Republican polls during his scandal, a sign that the age-old strategy of attacking the press is a great way to gain a foothold in a party that has long viewed the "mainstream media" with suspicion. Bachmann and Paul might score some points by doing the same.

Improbably, after 10 presidential debates -- or is it 11? - the putative GOP frontrunner survived unscathed once again. His rivals, particularly Perry and former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman, will almost certainly pick apart his answers on the foreign policy front.

But Romney has yet to suffer the kind of campaign-altering blunder that these nationally televised debates tend to produce. And this is in a presidential campaign that has been almost entirely defined by the marathon debate schedule.



Lest I be branded, by my more jerky kneed right wing friends, as coming to the holiday table with that marshmallow salad nobody wants and an agenda everybody expects, let's get one thing clear here.

I really haven't decided whether I believe Barack Obama is the best choice this coming election year.

So this piece is no token "bash the other guys no matter what" thing.

It is, though, a sincere opinion based solely on what I, and the rest of us, have seen and heard, to date, as regards the Republican's efforts to decide who is going to be the alternative to four more years.

Even many of the more stalwart GOP loyalists, pundits and armchair quarterbacks are lamenting, and not too quietly, the lack of a dynamic "front runner" amongst the declared.

From one debate to the next (and the next and the next), the pack seems to lope, as opposed to charge, along.

And the breaking news coming out of each debate seems to be less about who is sailing toward new possibilities and more about who didn't screw the pooch.

That's really sad.

And too bad.

The earliest presidential contest I recall was 1964. An obviously liberal, but undoubtedly dynamic, Lyndon Johnson in the left corner, an obviously conservative, but undoubtedly dynamic, Barry Goldwater in the right corner.

And from the first round, it was a contest of contrasts, a "thrilla", not vanilla.

Regardless of where you wanted the knockout punch to land.

This time out, not so much.

This time out, every lining up of the candidates on the debate stage du jour is reminiscent of that line of kids we were presented back in the day when it came time to choose sides for the afternoon football game.

And the obvious, but unspoken, feeling between us that the choice before us wasn't about determining the best of the best but, rather, determining the lesser of the evils.

Cause, nice kids or not, there wasn't a runner in the bunch.

Let alone a front runner.

Whether you live in a red state or a blue state, I think it not unfair to say that, so far, it's a pretty sad state.

At the very least, it's a race that hasn't really even gotten going and already we, if not they, are feeling a little tired of it.

Which brings me back to the original contention.

Money woes, job market for shit, Wall Street occupation and trying to get to a place where the month runs out before the money notwithstanding, I think it's obvious from the action to date, that, yes, it's the economy, stupid.

But, it's not just about the economy.

It's also about energy.

So far, there isn't any.

"...One Way Or Another, We Always End Up Getting The Bird..."

To everything, there is a season.

So says the Bible.

Or The Byrds.

Depending on the birth year listed on your driver's license.

Regardless of the origin of your awareness, the saying itself has an undeniable universality.

And, as the family celebration of Butterfingers and Krackles makes room for the family celebration of buttered rolls and cranberries, that thought resonates even more poignantly.

To wit...

There are times when it's time to put aside the satirical scalpel used to slice the meat heads who govern us and pick up the carving knife used to slice the white meat/dark meat of our respective holiday birds.

In that spirit, here's how Thanksgiving is looking for you this year with some timely tips on how to make your season bright (we'll get to that may all your Christmases be white thing down the road).

Can you afford to give thanks this year? The American Farm Bureau Federation is predicting the average 10 person turkey dinner will cost 13 percent more than it did last year. Expect to shell out at least $50 bucks for the average 10 person turkey dinner. That's the highest price for the holiday meal on record.

Blame the centerpiece. The price of a turkey spiked this year. The side dishes aren't helping either. Just about the only thing that hasn't gotten more expensive is relish, according to the AFBF. Before you crack out the hot dogs for the holidays, there's still something to be thankful for: the year's best deals on groceries are actually happening now. Extreme couponers will tell you pre-Thanksgiving is the prime time to stock up on food for the year. "Don't settle for anything less than half off, and expect even better," advises Teri Gault, C.E.O. of The Grocery Game, a money-saving supermarket sweep site. "Sales change every week. So by gathering over the course of weeks, you'll save more money, and you'll be ahead of the game, and have less shopping and hauling to do at the last minute."

With that in mind, before you plan your recipes for the holiday, scan major coupon websites like coupons.com and smartsource.com to print out the best clippings and plan your menu around what's cheapest. Here's a head start...

For the turkey:
Last year, a 16-pound turkey cost about $17.50. This year it's around four bucks more. To battle bird costs, turn to rebates, says coupon guru Chrystie Corns. "This year Butterball is offering a $5 rebate when you Buy 1 Butterball Frozen or Fresh Whole Turkey," she says. That means you can turn back the clock on your turkey cost.

Another trade secret? Stack the deals. Your local supermarket may be offering discounts on turkey, but so are manufacturers. First scour local supermarket clippings for "store coupons", and then check out websites for Hormel, Butterball and other major turkey brands (here's a list) to find discounts you can double up on at the register.

For the sides:
Stuffing, sweet potatoes, fresh cranberries and peas have all gotten pricier this year, according to the AFBF. So this year, let deals dictate your side-dish menu. Check for freebies at websites like Red Plum, where a list of giveaways at national chains are posted weekly. Another tech-smart trick: download the Red Laser app to your phone and use it to scan sides you really want to make. The app will pull up the price of your dish and then roll out a list of similar products by other brands that are less expensive.

Remember you've still got time before the holidays, so you don't have to buy all your groceries in one trip. "Be open to purchasing items at different stores," suggests Corns. "For example, this week Target has the best deal on Stove Top Stuffing priced at $.89 cents."

For dessert:
Since milk's gone up 42 cents this year, check out recipes that use powdered milk which can be cheaper and lasts longer. Butter and brown sugar are also heavily discounted for the holiday season, says Gault, so factor that into your dessert decisions. The AFBF says pie shells and whipped cream have added a few cents to their price point overall, but Gault says the biggest discounts for those two baking items are available now, so you may not actually feel the pinch.

If you've got the time, consider doing your baking from scratch. Making pie crusts and dinner rolls with a little flour and yeast may require extra work, but it'll knock down your grocery bill significantly. Because biscuits and pie shells freeze well, you can actually make these ahead of time so they're good to go the big day.

America is a country that prides itself on tradition.

Traditionally, in January, we read news stories about the best ways to lose weight and/or quit smoking.

Traditionally, in February, we read news stories about how to best share our romantic feelings with others.

Traditionally, in both May and August, we read news stories about how not to get dead by doing stupid things while boating and/or swimming.

Traditionally, in July, of course, we read news stories about how not to get blown apart, or even get dead, by doing stupid things with things that explode after we light their fuses.

And, traditionally, in November, we read news stories about how much more the butterball is going to set us back than it did last year, inevitably accompanied by pointers on how to pinch a penny or two while we pinch a little salt into the mashed potatoes.

I've never been convinced that the yearly re-telling of how much more Thanksgiving is going to cost constitutes news.

It really falls more into the category of "no shit, Sherlock."

Because, fact is, after six plus decades of yearly thank you, Lord and pass the gravies, I've never known a Thanksgiving that cost less than the one that came before.

And that's okay.

It's no biggie.

Because we (the much revered and sought after "American people") have never let a little thing like price increases get in the way of doing what we damn well want to do whenever we damn well want to do it.

Otherwise, those of us who remember gasoline that cost thirty cents a gallon would have traded in for good when gasoline hit, say, two bucks.

Never mind three plus.

So, damn the torpedos and bring on the bird, let the Thanksgiving banquet begin.

The thing is, actually, we don't let the price of poultry sideline our supper.

Because the thing is, actually, we deal every day with what overfed, overstuffed turkeys cost us.

It's only on Thanksgiving Day that we call them Toms.

The rest of the year we call them Congress.

Hmmm.

Turns out the carving knife didn't take the place of the scalpel, after all.

No problem.

That's why God gave us the blessings of family, friends...

...and two hands.

"...I'm Funny?...Funny, How?....Like A Clown?....I Amuse You?...How Am I Funny?...And Vote For Me, Anyway..."

Dying, Edmund Kean said on his deathbed, is easy.

Comedy is hard.

That said, whatever else Rick Perry may, or may not be, he is capable of coping when times are hard.

The "oops heard round the world" is available pretty much everywhere.

Perry's damage control included a self petard hoisting with David Letterman serving as his second.




For additional comedy offerings, be sure and bounce back and forth between MSNBC and Fox.

And enjoy the laughs that come with listening to two polar opposites in perspective regarding the single issue of Perry's debate debacle.

MSNBC has all but written off the candidacy.

Fox News has the "lighten up, everybody makes mistakes" mantra held in their teeth like a pit bull with a mouth full of mailman.

Meanwhile, back at the presidential race.

Yes, everybody makes mistakes.

But, as any football coach walking off the Super Bowl field dry and un-Gatoraded will tell you, there are certain mistakes you simply cannot make.

And certain times you simply cannot make them.

Stumbling over simple facts and trying to oops out out of it is a mistake you don't make when you are asking to be entrusted with the free world's most powerful gig.

Credit where it's due, Perry, unlike, say, Newt, seems to have the ability to laugh at himself.

And, credit where it's due, he didn't try to tough, bluff or bullshit his way out of the faux pas pile.

Points made. Points taken.

Points scored.

So, let's give Rick Perry his due.

Let's give Rick Perry a break.

Hell, let's give Rick Perry his own weekly show on Fox News.

Let's just not give him the keys to 1600 Pennsylvania.

"...Church and State....Even When The State Is Mississippi..."

Two ways you'll never get rich.

Betting on horses.

Betting on elections.

Mississippi, to the surprise/chagrin of those who thought the passage of the "Personhood" measure was a slam dunk, proved, once again, the pitfalls of betting on anything the electorate gets a whack at.

For those unfamiliar with the measure, here's a morning after perspective.

http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/11/09/what-happened-to-and-whats-next-for-failed-personhood-measure/?hpt=hp_c1

The only thing sure in cases like this is that no one can, with any empirical accuracy, be sure exactly why the measure failed.

And paring it down to a single cause is, obviously, a slippery slope.

That said, here's a single cause.

Regardless of any best intentions from anyone along either side of any ideological line, trying to legislate issues of morality and/or spirituality is an exercise in futility.

Admittedly, putting like that is simplistic.

Here's a thing about the thing, though.

Sometimes, things really are just that simple.

"...Looks Ain't Everything...Then Again...."

Technology is a wonderful thing.

We live in a time when being stranded on the road is pretty much a thing of the past, thanks to cell phones.

We live in a time when we're not chained to a radio or record player to enjoy the latest hits, thanks to the applicable app on our applicable hand held device.

And we live in a time that has seen the extinction of one of politics' most insidious vices.

The two faced politician.

In place of two faces, we are now offered a single expression.

Gone are the days when office seekers and/or those who analyze and second guess office seekers had to put on an expression for public viewing separate and apart from their everyday look.

Game face? No need.

These days, it's all about "keeping it real."

And making sure that "the American people" get "the truth".

So, we "get" the...

...."Well, maybe I really am some kind of Vulcan born wack job, but, I'm the Vice President, baby" face...

..."see...I really can lean to the right if I find it politically expedient" face...

..."now that my campaign is evaporating, I figure it's okay to show "the American people" that I'm just a little crinkly nose cutie pie at heart" face...

..."thinking about which side of the two sides I need to take today to show people I'm on all sides today" face...

..."bet your children's college fund that you'll never see a picture of me leaning to the left" face...

and...

the..."the experts thought this campaign was a joke, well, who's laughing now?" face...


Whatever your particular political predilection , you can't find fault living in a period of political history where "what you see is what you get".

With, perhaps, one exception.

The smirk.

Neither frown, nor smile, nor vacant stare, nor lean right/lean left, the smirk is one of those faces that tends to irritate people, even if they don't consciously realize that they are being irritated.

It looks something like this.

No mere satirical savager of the sincerely sincere I, let me offer that I know what this face is all about because I have worn it countless times myself.

More often when I was in the rebellious teenage years, but, pretty much, off and on, from time to time as needed, ever since then.

Usually when I was unwilling to admit that I didn't have a clue or know what to say but damned sure wasn't gonna admit it.

On a civilian, the face is, at best, well...smirky.

On an office seeker, the face is, at best, well...smirky.

As well as, perception being reality, a red flag that there may be cluelessness lurking.

And, not to get in your face or anything, but...this ain't our first rodeo with that face.

"...Inspiration Is One Thing...Imitation Is Another...."

This blog is called "The Center Line".

It was named that because when I realized I wanted to siphon the political stuff off my other assorted and sundry blog sites, I aspired to find the skill to walk the line between both/all sides of the spectrum politic and try to articulate a fundamentally "common sense" POV.

The challenge, of course, is that common sense has a peculiar habit of not being something many of us have in common.

And what makes sense to one is often senseless to another.

That confession made, I'd offer that, so far, I've come as close to the middle in my meanderings as the aforementioned challenge allows.

At the very least, these pieces are as legitimately "center line" as, say, O'Reilly's Zone is legitimately "no spin".

Admittedly faint praise.

And, speaking of O'Reilly and his assorted and sundry posses, I admit that my satirical spears tend to find their way into their carcasses more often than they harpoon the folks on the port side.

Frankly, I'm inclined to make the argument that criticizing the presentation of the Fox News nation is comparable to a wonderful moment in a long ago aired episode of "M.A.S.H" in which the much maligned Major Frank Burns, in a moment of pique, complained plaintively to Hawkeye and Trapper that he was tired of constantly, and incessantly, being the butt of their jokes.

To which Hawkeye articulately replied, "well, Frank, the truth is that you invite abuse...and it would be impolite not to ask it in...".

This also explains 99% of my observations about both Coulter and Kardashian, while we're at it.

Nevertheless, this time out, my affectionate artillery is showing a decidedly lean to the left.

And the target, for lack of a less dramatic word, is a liberal, fair haired fella.

Chris Matthews.

Chris has written a new JFK biography and, like any good/smart author, is doing a nice job of slipping in a plug for it every six to ten minutes on his nightly MSNBC show, "Hardball". (Equal time moment: O'Reilly is matching Chris plug for plug hyping his own latest tome' "Killing Lincoln"...although it's subliminally amusing that, even in terms of historic prose, these guys are loyal to their leanings, Matthews writing about a historically mythologized martyred Democrat, O'Reilly writing about a historically mythologized martyred Republican).

Haven't yet read the book. Have read some excerpts and, on surface, it looks like Chris has written a pretty honest account of an accomplished and historic, but admittedly flawed, human being.

In other words, I have no book bone to pick.

The last few evenings, though, Chris has, in his commentaries, been singing the praises of Kennedy as a president, leader and visionary and, not so subtly, offering that what Barack Obama needs to do to get the country, and his own political fortunes, back on track is to emulate that presidency, leadership and vision.

I understand Chris' romance with the mystique. I'm only a few years younger and, like him, grew up in that time of space race and Peace Corps, missile crisis and cold war, civil rights struggles and "asking not".

All these years later, though, I'm not sure rose tinted glasses don't alter the colors of Camelot just a scoche.

Kennedy's cool in October of 1962 probably prevented the first exchange of nuclear weapons fire in the history of mankind.

An exchange that, knock wood, we have continued to avoid to date.

And the modern Greek tragedy that was the Kennedy family story, complete with myriad plot twists and turns, including, but not limited to, the brutal and dramatic deaths of both John and Robert, certainly ramp up the "romance" factor when assessing the life and times.

Add to that JFK's now well documented physical, mortal and moral flaws and you have a less hyperbolic, but certainly more human, perspective on the man.

None of which has anything to do with the quality of the work Chris Matthews has done in the writing of this book.

But has, I'd offer, a lot to do with the idea of star light, star brighting a wish that another John F. would come along.

Or that a Barack O. would suddenly find his own John F. voice and start speaking with it.

From all accounts, Chris Matthews has written an outstanding work on a complex time and a complicated man.

Suggesting that a man of this time should take pages from another's history, though, seems more poetic than practical.

Especially when that other history ended so abruptly, horrifically and dramatically.

And, unarguably, unfinished.

"...There Is No Extreme Left Or Extreme Right In The Center Ring..."

There's good news and there's bad news.

First...

Washington (CNN) -- Amid accusations and denials about who leaked what, Herman Cain prepared for a radio interview that will be his first public comment Thursday on the sexual harassment allegations that have dominated his front-running campaign for the Republican presidential nomination.

Cain was scheduled as a guest on conservative broadcaster Sean Hannity's syndicated program at 4 p.m. EDT. Meanwhile, one of two women who reportedly accused Cain of sexual harassment in the late 1990s when he headed the National Restaurant Association could issue her first statement on what happened as early as Friday.

The allegations have dominated Cain's campaign this week as the former Godfathers Pizza CEO rose to the top of opinion polls in his bid to secure the GOP nomination and take on President Barack Obama in next year's presidential election.

They also set off a fierce round of claims and counter-claims regarding how the information became public in the first place. At the same time, Cain's campaign announced Thursday he has raised $1.2 million this week since the allegations first surfaced on Sunday in a big boost from supporters.,

Earlier Thursday, an adviser to Texas Gov. Rick Perry's presidential bid who formerly worked for Cain denied that he was responsible for leaking the allegations that surfaced Sunday in a report by Politico.

The comments by Curt Anderson to CNN directly contradicted a claim by Cain that he had once told Anderson of being accused of sexual harassment.

Anderson, who worked on Cain's unsuccesful 2004 U.S. Senate campaign in Georgia and now is a consultant to Perry's campaign against Cain and other Republican contenders, insisted that Cain never told him about the accusations.

"It's hard to leak something you don't know anything about," he said. Asked directly about the conversation Cain claimed they had eight years ago, Anderson said: "I don't have any knowledge of any of this and, you know, it's just not true."

Cain's chief campaign strategist, Mark Block, told Fox News later Thursday that he accepted Anderson's denial and wanted to move on from the controversy that has dogged his candidate all week.

"Until we get all the facts, I'm just going to say that we accept what Mr. Anderson has said, and we want to move on with the campaign," said Block, who had earlier called for Perry and his campaign to apologize to Cain for allegedly leaking the sexual harassment allegations to the media.

Politico's report Sunday alleged that two female employees at the National Restaurant Association accused Cain of inappropriate behavior during his tenure as head of the organization in the late 1990s. The women, according to Politico, each received separation packages in the five-figure range.

One of the packages totaled $35,000 -- equivalent to that staffer's annual salary, according to the New York Times. On Thursday, Politico reported the other package was for $45,000.

Cain has provided differing statements on the allegations this week, raising further questions about what happened and the ability of the candidate and his campaign to deal with the controversy.

A former businessman who touts himself as a political outsider, Cain has run an unorthodox campaign that made him an early choice of conservatives seeking an alternative to the more moderate Mitt Romney, a former governor of Massachusetts.

Republican strategist Ed Rollins said Thursday that Cain's campaign lacks the usual elements to deal with such controversies that inevitably arise.

"They take great pride in not being a real campaign," Rollins told CNN. "They don't have a war room. They don't have a response team."

Rollins, until recently a chief adviser to Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota -- another of Cain's rivals in the presidential nomination race -- noted that Politico first asked the Cain campaign about the sexual harassment allegations 10 days before running the story."

"Ten days is a lifetime in politics," Rollins said. "They should have been prepared for this."

In the interview, Anderson spoke highly of his former employer and suggested that the pressure of the sexual harassment story was getting to the former businessman.

"Candidates, when they get into a firestorm like this, have sometimes come unraveled," Anderson said. "It seems to me that they're kind of grasping at straws and fishing around trying to figure out what to do, how to get out of this."

Saying he was "disappointed" that Cain "tried to use me as a pawn to try to get out of this mess he's in," Anderson said he was "not going to use that to discolor everything I know about the guy."

When asked whether he may take legal action against Cain, Anderson said: "No, I don't have any interest in anything like that."

The Perry campaign also said it did not know about the allegations until Politico first published the story Sunday.

"No one at our campaign was involved in this story in any way," Perry campaign communications director Ray Sullivan said. "Any claim to the contrary is patently false."

On Wednesday, Cain's campaign called a report that a third former employee claimed he engaged in inappropriate behavior an example of "baseless allegations."

"He has never acted in the way alleged by inside-the-Beltway media, and his distinguished record over 40 years spent climbing the corporate ladder speaks for itself," said J.D. Gordon, a Cain campaign spokesman. "Since his critics have not been successful in attacking his ideas, they are resorting to bitter personal attacks. Mr. Cain deserves better."

Wes Anderson, Curt Anderson's brother, acknowledged their firm was recently hired by the Perry campaign. He, too, denied any knowledge of the allegations before the story broke in Politico about allegations against Cain.

Appearing before a consumer group in Virginia Wednesday morning, Cain accused his critics of engaging in the politics of personal destruction, and he insisted his candidacy would survive the maelstrom.

"There is a force at work here that is much greater than those that would try to destroy me and destroy this campaign," the former Godfather's Pizza CEO said. "That force is called the voice of the people. That's why we are doing as well as we are."

Cain referenced a new Quinnipiac University national poll showing him leading the GOP field with 30% support among registered Republicans, compared with 23% for Romney. The survey, however, was conducted almost entirely before news of the allegations came out.

Later, a visibly irritated Cain refused to discuss the issue with reporters, telling them "don't even bother asking ... all of these other questions that you all are curious about."

Earlier in the week, Cain's account of what happened changed from day to day.

On Monday, Cain forcefully denied all of the charges and said he was "not aware of any (legal) settlement." Later, he changed his tune, saying he did in fact know about a "separation agreement" in one of the cases.

The candidate told HLN's Robin Meade on Tuesday that the agreement provided one of his accusers "in the vicinity of three to six months' severance pay." The payment was "not outside our guidelines for what most people get ... when they leave the Restaurant Association involuntarily," he claimed.

While the Cain campaign had first been approached by Politico 10 days before the story was first published, the candidate himself said he was only remembering many details of the incident on Monday.

Cain continued to vehemently deny the allegations, telling HLN: "I have never committed sexual harassment in my entire career. Period."

Meanwhile, an attorney representing one of the alleged harassment victims send a draft statement by his client to the National Restaurant Association on Thursday to seek its approval.

"I will be asking the association to allow us to release the public statement without violating the confidentiality and non-disparagement provisions of the 1999 settlement agreement," said the attorney, Joel Bennett.

The association said it would respond to the proposed statement on Friday.

Bennett said Wednesday that his client hopes to "set the record straight as to the complaints," but would provide no interviews.

Asked why his client would not reveal her identity, Bennett said "she doesn't want to become another Anita Hill ... that's not her interest or expectation," referring to the woman who 20 years ago went public with sexual harassment allegations against then U.S. Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas and was the subject of criticism.

Bennett told CNN his client, who is now a federal government employee and who has worked at several departments, would like to put this behind her and is not a publicity seeker.

Cain has so far only released details about one of the allegations, saying it involved him gesturing to one of the women that she was the same height as his wife -- about 5 feet tall -- and came up to his chin.

Bennett did not indicate which of the alleged victims he represents, though he said his client is taller than 5 feet. He said the client is "happily married."

For his part, Cain has said he has no recollection of a second incident. According to Politico, however, one of the allegations involves an "unwanted sexual advance" at a hotel room in Chicago.

Separately, an Oklahoma Republican political consultant told CNN Wednesday he personally witnessed Cain demonstrate inappropriate conduct toward a female employee during Cain's tenure as head of the National Restaurant Association. Chris Wilson first made the charge earlier in the day in an interview with KTOK, an Oklahoma radio station.

The alleged incident "occurred at a restaurant in Crystal City (Virginia) and everybody was aware of it," said Wilson -- a consultant for the organization at the time -- in the KTOK interview.

"It was only a matter of time because so many people were aware of what took place, so many people were aware of her situation, the fact she left. Everybody knew with the campaign that this would eventually come up."

Wilson is currently doing polling for a political action committee supporting Perry's bid, but the group is independent of the campaign and by law cannot coordinate with it.

Meanwhile...

(CNN) - Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry said he was neither on drugs nor drunk during a speech in New Hampshire Friday, as some observers and critics have suggested.

An edited clip of the speech, in which an enthusiastic Perry laughs and jokes with the audience, went viral on YouTube, prompting some to suggest he was on pain medication for a past back surgery or under the influence of alcohol.

But in an interview with the San Francisco Chronicle published Thursday, the longtime Texas governor said he did not take pain medication or consume any other substance before Friday's Cornerstone Action annual dinner.

"I've probably given 1,000 speeches," Perry told the newspaper Wednesday. "There are some that have been probably boring, some that have been animated, some that have been in between."

When asked about comedian Jon Stewart's suggestion that Perry drank alcohol before the event, the Texas governor said, "It wasn't that either."

"It's not that I wouldn't love to sit down with Jon and have a glass of wine," Perry said. "If he'll buy."

With talk of the speech not dying down, a group of unaligned New Hampshire Republican officials, who attended the event, will hold a press conference Thursday to defend the governor.

Thursday's speakers have not endorsed Perry, but said coverage of the remarks has become a distraction from serious issues on the trail in the first-in-the-nation primary state.




Second, I lied.

There is no good news.

What there is, actually, is, at best, a sad commentary on the state of things as applicable to those who are applying to be the head of state.

And that commentary, ironically, mandates that the job that Barack Obama has done, or not done, since he was elected is academic to the discussion.

Put less eruditely and more essentially...

If what we (that oft quoted group whose needs every politician professes to have a complete understanding of, "the American people) are being offered as an alternative to the incumbent is the very best the Republican Party has to offer...

Barack and the family can stop packing the knick knacks and cancel the U-Haul.

It will be 2004 all over again.

At that time, George W. was not the most popular guy on the block, the economy was not in good shape, his Middle East policies were a flashpoint of criticism and his re-election was anything but assured.

Then along came the Democrats and their "best and brightest" alternative.

I remember saying to someone during that campaign, "you know, it's pretty clear that a very large number of people think W. needs to go...

....trust me, though....John Kerry ain't the guy."

In hindsight, I realize that wasn't as much a consummate grasp of the political landscape as it was a clear grasp of the obvious.

Fast forward seven years.

Time, once again, for the biggest show on earth.

And, regrettably, the circus is back in town.