Name remorse.
(Yahoo.com) What's in a name? Everything. That's why baby-naming books fuel a tireless sector of the publishing industry and why 8 percent of new parents wake up with night sweats fearing they've made the wrong choice.
A new poll, conducted by yourdomainename.com, found that almost one tenth of parents regret the name they've given their child. That's up from 3 percent compared to polls conducted in recent years.
So what's with all the remorse? Two words: Peer pressure.
More than half of the regretful parents surveyed said they opted for names that were trendy or fashionable (Apple, anyone?) in the moment. Thirty-two percent said their child's name ended up being more common then they first imagined.
"Just as our desire for interesting names is rising, so too is our obsession with choosing the right name," Laura Wattenburg, author of "The Baby Name Wizard" tells The Guardian. "Parents willing to go out and change a name is becoming more common because they are conscious they are sending their child out into a competitive landscape, so branding them for success makes sense. If the brand name doesn't work in the first instance, change it."
A baby isn't a brand, but sometimes, a little focus grouping can make parents rethink their gut impulses.
"I first got an inkling that we had given our baby the wrong name when another mother peered into his pram and said loudly, 'So, do you pronounce it Ralph or Raef?' It wasn't the mispronunciation that made me cringe but how horrible she made the word sound; all hoity-toity with ugly, drawn-out vowels," writes Lena Corner, a UK-based mom who changed her son's name from Ralph to Huxley after weeks of agonizing over the decision she made on her son's birth certificate.
For moms of multiples, there's also concern over how kids' names sound together. One mom wrote about her remorse on a parenting forum after she named her twin daughters Rosalie and Violet. "We realized that we didnt like the two-flower thing," she writes. "Within weeks we were becoming more and more embarrassed to even say the name that we had originally chosen for Rosalie, and always found ourselves introducing baby Violet first, since we both loved that name. Silly. I know. But true."
Because naming your child is one of those things you can "prepare for" before birth, a lot of parents find themselves rethinking their decision once they meet the little stranger.
After adopting baby Gabriella, one mom who shared her story on a fertility forum decided her daughter was more of an Abigail. "I had always said I would keep one of the names her mother gave her... But after about a month it wasn't working." So they nicknamed her Abby and kept her legal birth name the same. "Sometimes the name just doesn't fit the child and we have to do what's best for the everyone in the long run."
For parents who want to make a name change official, the process can be arduous. According to experts, a child doesn't recognize his or her name for about five months. But the legal system can take a lot longer than that. Depending on your state, the process involves a petition, a court order and anywhere from $65 to $150 in application fees. That's not accounting for additional legal fees if you hire a lawyer.
But for some parents all the paperwork is worth the reward. "Huxley is now 15 months old and "Ralph" just a far-off bad memory," writes Corner in The Guardian. "It was a difficult thing to do, but at least he's got the right name now."
Like you, I'm guessing, I did, upon reading that piece, a fast mental inventory of my own culpability, or lack thereof, during my turn at dealing out the designations.
Personally, I think I'm good.
First born we named Matthew Aaron. Solid, respectful, classy but not stuffy, a little Biblical while not excessively evangelical (and, truth be told, the Scriptural connotation was value added, we just liked the sound of the name).
No harm, there.
Next born we named Andrew Peyton. Again, solid, stylish while not trendy, classy in a founding fathers/amber waves of grain kind of way, a reverent, but not overwrought, nod to the family lineage (Peyton was the name of a respected uncle [this was years before anyone besides his own family had even heard of the Colts quarterback for those of you who went there])
No foul, there.
Their progeny, I'm proud to proclaim, benefited from the unwritten, but unmistakable, tradition of naming their own with class without cringe, glamour without gimmick and, to a kid, names that reflect who they have, to date, become.
Ella Marie...classic but contemporary, intelligent but hip, savvy but sweet, the eldest of three, but, so far and, I'm confident, from here on out, forever young at heart...
Claire Elizabeth...traditional but unique, classy but brassy, a kid who has a natural ability at balancing being the middle child and putting her own special stamp on this, that and those around her...
Matthew Aaron, Jr....another of those respectful nods to the family (even those the nod-ee in this case is sleeping in the master bedroom with Mom as opposed to heaven with the angels), but very much his own little man from his athletic abilities to his gracious handling of what has to be the mixed blessing of physically resembling a kid named Bieber...
Olivia Paige...a lovely, old fashioned name for a lovely, new fashioned kid who has sass, spunk, style and a sweet smile in her presentation...and that's in just the first five years, the next five should be quite a story...
Six people, two generations.
Not bad, if I do name it not bad myself.
Admittedly, our family, like all families, is not without blemish.
My brother, Blake, dodged the bullet of being named Hugo back in the day.
All due respect to Hugos everywhere.
And my sister, having been stylishly named Laurel Ann, once went through a brief post divorce period deciding that she was going to seek out true love only with men with the surname Hardy, if only for the enjoyment of the comedic effect.
I'll give you a second.
Laurel....Ann.......Hardy.
And, confession be offered, although I've never really been particularly comfortable with my own name (a combined tribute to a respected uncle somewhere and my own father), I suspect that therapy focused on that issue would likely reveal it was more about my lack of comfort with myself than what I'm called.
Well, that and I always saw myself as more of a Paul.
Or Ramon.
Wow. No issues there.
Bottom line...conscience clear on the name game. Every one in this world that I've had a hand, or DNA strand, in can go through life without the burden of living down, or up to, some foolish, vain and/or misguided act committed with pen and birth certificate.
Not a "Moonbeam" in the mob.
Okay. There is one stain on the psyche.
Through the years, I have, though I would offer that it was with best intentions, been guilty of totally blowing it when I handed out the handles.
In fact, to date, my batting average is damn close to zip.
Every time I name someone...
Congressman.
Senator.
Governor.
President.
On those, guilty as charged.
Feel free to call me any name you wish.
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